Hands up if you went to school with 'Crash'...
All Hail Satan, Ruler of the Underworld! I'm fourteen years old and I'm lead bass guitarist in a heavy metal band called Kings of Satan. I have worshipped you since I saw Fantasia when I was little. My room is practically a shrine to you, almost. I have all kinds of black t-shirts and posters with skulls and blood and stuff. I used to have a dead mouse from out by the gravel pit, but my mom threw it out.
Our band is really great and we sound a lot like Black Sabbath or Iron Maiden when we play their songs. If you made me and my friends really popular and rich and famous, we could tour hotels all over the place. We would throw away those little Bibles you find in hotel rooms and put Kings of Satan CDs there instead. We played at a big school talent show last month, and we kicked hiney! Except the doofus announcer read our name as "Kings of Stan." My soul is yours for eternity. Would you please send me an autographed picture, and a girlfriend?
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Children's Letters to Satan...
This is hilarious. An excerpt: